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FEAR

²fear

 noun

1

a : an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger. (Merriam-Webster)

What an interesting emotion fear is.

Unpleasant: For the most part people think of fear as unpleasant, but what about those people who watch scary movies...for fun? I am not one of those people, but in a sense, aren't they putting themselves in a situation that causes them fear in some level because they find it pleasant? 

Thousands of people travel to the Grand Canyon each day to stare fearfully at the wonder that God created. Sure, it's beautiful, but part of the thrill is that one is able to stare down into the mile-deep hole without falling in. 

Anticipation: There is something special with fear that makes us more aware, especially when we are hindered by something. For example, when one is walking through a dark hallway, there might be a lingering fear that they may run into something and hurt themselves. This lingering fear causes us to open our eyes even wider and walk slower, in a way becoming paranoid until we reach our destination. 

Another example is seen in roller coasters. I HATE roller-coasters, but I also enjoy them quite a bit. I hate the part where the carts reach the top of a steep hill and for a couple of seconds you are staring straight down at a huge drop. That anticipation makes my stomach drop and makes me wonder what I was thinking when I made the decision to ride this crazy train. 

Danger: This part of the definition makes me smile. Isn't there danger everywhere? It makes me think of the over-protective parents who would prefer to keep their children in a bubble than to let them take part in anything remotely resembling child's play. 

Really, right now, I look around my apartment and I think of all of the dangers around me. Cleaners, windows, corners, heights, fire and electricity. If  I allowed this fear to rule my life I would not clean (might be fun), look out the window, have tables, live in an apartment, cook or watch TV. This would make for a very "safe" and possibly boring life. The Quakers do it, but I'm not sure I'm cut out for that life. 

In looking at the definition of fear, I guess fear is really not all that bad. We as humans are afraid of so much, but it truly seems to drive us to be better. 

A fear of getting to work late causes us to leave home earlier. 

A fear of getting sick leads us to take care of ourselves. 

A fear of not making ends meet helps us look at our expenses and try harder.

A fear of being lonely might push us to reach out and make friends. 

A fear of what life has in store for us might even lead us closer to God. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about a debilitating fear that leads to OCD or paranoia. I am talking about the fear we all have in our lives. 

When most people think about fear, they think of an uncomfortable feeling of impending danger. In the last couple of weeks I have found that fear is fuel for passion. Fear has moved me closer to my husband and my Faith. Fear has made me stronger and smarter. Fear has made me less lonely and more humble. 

Fear moves us. 

Fear inspires us to look for ways to live without it.

Fear leads us to hope. 

Rocky Road

8 days ago marked our 4 months of marriage. In the first four months we have loved each other more than we thought possible. We laughed at a party thrown for us when we returned from our destination wedding, everyone at the party when asked for advice mentioned that the first year is the hardest. Our first thought was, how could life with my best friend be hard? For 3 years (I knew he was THE ONE after 3 months), I dreamt of our marriage (not just our wedding, which was fabulous) and how great it would be to share the rest of my life with this windfall man. So, when people said it would be difficult, we said there is no way that life can be difficult when we have each other. I am happy to say that our relationship is stronger than ever, and continues to thrive. We continue to grow in love each day, something we thought impossible. It's funny, people were partly right. Our relationship is fantastic, but life itself has been challenging. Living 5 hours away from his family and 16 hours away from mine has been difficult, especially for me. He has lived away from family and friends for a while and has found his own ways of dealing with it. I, on the othe hand, have never lived more than 10 minutes away from family and friends. This has been difficult, especially because of difficulties making friends, but we have overcome it. In the past week I have continued to repeat a quote from mother Teresa in my head: "I know God won't give me more than I can handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much." We have encountered another issue in our lives (I can't share details yet), and are in need of some prayers. We continue to pray and thank God for our blessings and we know that he will provide. Being patient is difficult. God truly is humbling us.

Welcome

Welcome to my new attempt at a blog. I hope that this will be a good way for me to discuss various topics important to me, regarding: Married life, youth ministry, Catholicism, faith and family life.

My name is Vianey and I am married to an amazing man, Luis. We made our vows before God in Cancun, Mexico on January 21st, 2012. We had a fantastic Catholic ceremony in a glass chapel overlooking the beautiful blue ocean. 

We moved to Phoenix, AZ to pursue our respective careers (He's a court interpreter and I am a Youth Minister). My family lives in Austin, TX and his family live in Southern California. The move and adjustment to Arizona has been a challenge, but we have been growing closer in our relationship during this time. 

I love being a wife and sharing my life with my best friend. He is very supportive and loving in every way possible and I couldn't ask for a better man to spend the rest of my life with. 

"God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." ~Genesis 1: 27